The Young and the Brainless
by Krowl-fu
Summary: Time travel to when they were all teenagers...experience their highs and lows...Read about Adam first, then Shal and now good ol' Jesse!
1. Adam Kane at school again!

THE YOUNG AND THE BRAINLESS: Adam Kane  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Mutant X, Tribune Entertainment prolly have the copyright for it and lucky them. Instead, I own my imagination and I can use it to twist the characters. So in short...Don't own 'em Don't sue me  
  
Author's Note: Although you do not need to have read "A day in the Life of Mutant X" Which is sorta finished, there may be some slight references to things from it, so don't fret. I hope you all like it just as much as my other one.  
  
Synopsis: We journey back in time to Adam during his teens and find out why he is what he is....absolutely gripping tale which the Courier News desribed as, "Enthralling......entertaining...." and the Times as ....."A masterpiece.....if reading crap is your style.....the author needs to get a life......" Yes well, i take the good with the bad...enjoy!  
  
************ADAM KANE AT SCHOOL AGAIN!******************  
  
Down the empty corridors of Stanford...the lonely voice of a teenage boy can be heard.....droning on and on....in to a hand held voice recorder....  
  
Enter room 101....the science lab....where a 15 year old boy sits behind a bench looking through a microscope and taping his thoughts...what an absolutely riveting way to spend your Friday night....  
  
"So it seems inconlusive whether or not these grass cells are actually infected with pesticide, but I will check into it later." The boy sighed and rubbed his temples...he hoped Professor Minkey will like his report.  
  
Outside the room the cleaner paused at the door and looked in, a scowl on his face...  
  
"Hey Kid! Get outta here! This is no place for you at this time of night! Now scram!" He said ciggerette in mouth...charming, janitors in those days, made a building feel really welcoming...  
  
The boy looked up and frowned. He stood up and turned off the microscope. "Don't you know who I am old man? I am Adam Kane! The boy genius! I have EVERY right to be here thank you very much! Now go, the toilets need cleaning, someone had the runs earlier...." The janitor snarled. Little upstart, he would show him one day....and with that Phill Ashlocke went off down the corridor...  
  
Adam sighed, that wasn't very nice of him to say that, the poor man was trying for a child with his wife and failing, maybe one day they will have the perfect child they always wanted...he got up and went home...  
  
**********ALPHA DORM*********  
  
Adam opened the door to his dorm to find himself amisdt another raucous party. He groaned...yet again he cursed...damn House Master, putting him in with the jocks, thinking he will fit in and make friends, hello! He was 12 when he got here and staying up all night drinking was not his style...more like reading a thesis on physics and biology. He sighed and made his way to his room but was stopped by his new dorm mate, Mason Eckhart. A tall good looking boy with blue eyes and blonde hair, all the girls loved him. What 18 year old girl wouldn't?  
  
"Hey! Adam! Wassup bro? You been gone so long the party started without you!" He said pointing to the girls and boys behind him getting drunk. Adam didn't think the party had ever stopped let alone started, but let it go and went to his room.  
  
"What was the kid doing here?" Someone asked Mason, who was looking after Adam concerned.  
  
"Oh, that was Adam Kane, you know that smart kid. He has been here since he was 12, will graduate next year..." And with that Mason turned to his football buddies and partied down to the 'Stones and Bob Marley.  
  
In his room Adam looked out the window and reached under his bed for the bottle of Jack Daniels Mason had bought him for his 15th birthday last month. Adam stared at it...why couldn't he join in with the others and be cool? Have fun for once? Adam thought back to the time when he was in the circus for 2 glorious years, he had had so much fun....free all the time, never had to think...just maintain the bearded lady's beard and collect the Elephant manure...he had the easy life then.....  
  
He sighed and opened the bottle. It was time to enter the 20th century he supposed and get stoned and "stay cool" so to speak...Adam took a swig and wondered if he would always turn to alcohol when life got to heavy and thought no, he was far to intelligent for that.  
  
Adam turned back to the window and wondered what the future held for him. He will graduate next year and already had a work placing at a Government lab researching birth defects, Adam thought it would be perfect. He always wanted to help people...hopefully his friend Mason will join him there too when he graduates...Adam hoped so, Mason was the sort friend he will have forever...What Adam really wanted was a big family he could love and cherish...to protect and look after...  
  
Adam turned from the window and went to his bed, who knows what the future will bring, hopefully only happy times....Adam smiled...of course it will...he has so much promise.....  
  
What could possibly go wrong....?  
  
As we fade away from Adam and his memories...the last notes of "Satisfaction" can be heard along with the happy care free laughter of youth and the stench of JD and pot linger in the air....  
  
****Hope you liked it, it was my first one, so hard to be funny, a bit more serious I thought. Ah well, the others will be funnier I promise, I was a bit "funnied" out today...! Review and it wait for the next one.....Shalimar..... 


	2. SHALIMAR FOX AND HER BLONDE BLONDE LOCKS

THE YOUNG AND THE BRAINLESS: SHALIMAR FOX  
  
Disclaimer: Ok I think we have all caught on by now, that Krowl-Fu does not own Mutant X.... So lets just all get over the criticism and ooh I don't know...enjoy it? But then again it is your opinion so please feel free to bag it in the reviews. Leave your email so I can find you... LOL jk, no do what you want.  
  
Author's Note: It seems quite a few of you liked Adam's flashback which was surprising, so I hope you like Shalimar's which will be funnier.... I hope. Any inconsistencies or whatever let me know!  
  
Synopsis: We go back to the early 80's when Shalimar was a senior in high school and still living in the trailer park...we find out how she deals with her mutant abilities...  
  
***************SHALIMAR FOX AND HER BLONDE BLONDE LOCKS*******************  
  
The room was silent.there was no noise.the sounds from outside were muffled.. It was dark and getting late. With a sigh, Shalimar Fox closed the Encyclopaedia, grabbed her bag and made her way home.  
  
----------In the street------  
  
Shalimar sighed. It was 6:00 and she had only 2 hours till, like, the party of THE year started and she had still not figured out how to transform herself.from bimbo to floozy. The Encyclopaedia didn't have any beauty tips and the guy in the library said it had the answer to everything.he was wrong.and to think she had gone out with him for NO reason.so now she was still back where she started.not knowing how to make her black roots disappear. Not only that, but she had a FLAT chest.why couldn't she be as buxom as her mother? She said they will grow in time, but still nothing.  
  
Shalimar just shrugged and walked home, lets just hope she wouldn't turn out like her mother, but use her education for good and get an office job. Something stable and settling with minimum upset. That way she could focus more on her hair. She didn't want to be some dumb blonde fighting to gain a little dignity. She did NOT want to compete in a man's world.  
  
-------------------Sky High Trailer Park---------------  
  
As she was walking down the road to her trailer, a smell of tuna fish and liver reached her nostrils.she licked her lips."Tiger must be having WHISKAS for dinner tonight." And for some odd reason, Shalimar felt jealous.  
  
She reached the step of the trailer when the door burst open, and there stood her mother in full neon glory..  
  
"Where the hell have you been hun? I was meant to do ya nails an HOUR ago! How'm I spose to make my lil girl look all pretty when she don't come home?" Her mother said cigarette in mouth, Jim Beam in hand. "I have some beans on the stove if you want, that or I think I have some meatballs in the fridge hun." Shalimar shuddered, what she felt like was steak.raw steak.Shalimar couldn't understand why she felt like that.she put it down to hormones. Shalimar just walked past her mother and into her room, she didn't have much time to get ready.  
  
-------IN HER ROOM------ She dumped her books on her desk, which was rarely used and sat down on her bed. She had the outfit ready, but what the heck was she going to do with her hair? She should never have let her mother talk her into dying it; she was natural brunette anyway. Shalimar vowed never to dye her hair again. Ever.  
  
She got up and went to her wardrobe to get her ultra short black dress, when she noticed her mail on her bedside table. "Hmm. Mom must of put it there when she was sober." And flicked through it. A letter from her Gran, God Bless her, she still hadn't realised that she was now 17. A pamphlet on breast enlargement, Shalimar looked at that one and put it away for later. Then there was a weird letter, from someone she didn't know. How did they know her address?! She put it in her drawer.  
  
Shalimar just shrugged and got ready for the party. She forgot all about it. An hour later she left for the party in her mom's car.  
  
-----------------At the Party------------  
  
"Man," Hiccoughed Shalimar to her friend Busy, "I am so damn drunk." Shalimar staggered over to the couch. Busy laughed.  
  
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Half the room turned around, who was the freak? "Oh you are not Shal! You only had one beer!" And with that she laughed some more. The room then realised who it was, that dork Busy Lennox who was such a ho, she would pay you for it. Shalimar's eyes flashed. Then she gasped. What had happened to her.? What was going on.? She just shrugged and got another beer.  
  
---------On the way home.---------  
  
Shalimar was the designated driver because she was sober, she had 2 drinks in four hours, and no matter how many times she told them she was drunk, no one believed her. Her and Busy were in the car after dropping off their friend Missy. They were singing along to WHAM and Bruce Springsteen..  
  
"Wake me up! Before you go go!" Shalimar sung to herself, Busy had passed out, she had had a very busy night.she had satisfied many boys that night. Shal stuck out her lip, she hoped Busy would stop acting the way she did, she hoped her own behaviour would set an example for her. She pulled up to her house and helped out of the car.then she got back in and drove home. She was only 2 miles from the trailer park when there were sirens behind her. She looked in the review mirror and saw lights. "Hmm, I wish I had a car with pretty flashing lights and makes a cool noise." She thought to herself. She drove on for another minute until she realised. And pulled over. The agitated COP got out of the car.  
  
Shalimar hurried to put on her lip-gloss, fluff her hair and put extra tissues down her dress, then she wound down the window.  
  
"Good Evening Officer, how can I help you?" The COP frowned; she looked like a hooker. "Are you drunk young lady?" He asked sternly. Shalimar shook her head. "Of course I am not Officer, why do you ask?" She battered her eyelashes. The COP grimaced. "Why then, if you are not drunk, were you driving so erratically? " He asked her. Erratically? Thought Shalimar, What the hell does that mean? "I don't know what you mean Officer!" She said, pushing out her chest. He sighed. Why was he always on the night shift dealing with hookers? He should be at home with his wayward son, who was always playing with the light switches and the toaster. It was a worry. "Can I see you license please?" Shalimar gulped. "Er..I don't have a license, did I need one?" The Officer groaned. "Then I think you had better step out of the car missy." Shalimar sighed and got out of the car, she hoped she would only get a warning.cos her mom won't be sober enough to bail her out. As she was getting out of the car, Busy's bottle of JD was rolling on the floor where she left it. The Officer frowned. So the little skank lied. He got out his hand cuffs. Shalimar gasped. "You aren't going to arrest me are you officer?" She said leaning in close to him, who backed away. "I am afraid so, you broke the law. I am going to have to take you down to the station." Pronto he thought. Shalimar leaned back into the car to get her bag and a packet of white powder fell out. She picked it up, what the hell was this? Oh..right..it was Missy's medicine, she asked Shal to mind it at the party. She put it back in her bag, but the Officer saw her. He smiled evilly. "You are in big trouble little lady." He said snapping on the hand cuffs and dragging her back to the squad car..Shalimar cried out... "IT ISN'T MY FAULT! I DIDN'T WANT TO BE THE DESIGNATED DRIVER!!!! IT ISN'T MINE!" The Officer laughed. "Sure little lady.of the night." Shalimar's eyes flashed and the door slammed close.  
  
-----------IN THE COUNTY JAIL---------- Shalimar was slumped against the wall in the cell, beyond tears, that and she didn't want to ruin her eye make up, she was still flirting with the officer in charge outside to let her go, but no luck, he must be gay thought Shalimar.  
  
Just as Shalimar was about to fall asleep from exhaustion, her cell door open and the Officer was standing there. Shalimar's face lit up. She knew he would change his mind, how could he refuse such an offer? "Get up! You can go. You have been bailed." Shalimar gasped. Was her mother sober? She got to her feet and went to the door, a man was standing in the shadows.he was tall with curly brown hair. He stepped forward.  
  
"Hello Shalimar. I take it you didn't get my letters." Shalimar looked up in surprise, was this the freak writing to her?  
  
"Er.no.I didn't." The man smiled. He came forward and shook her hand.  
  
"My name is Adam and I have come to take you away from all this." And with that he smiled at the officer and went to walk out the door and stopped. He turned around to a shocked Shalimar.  
  
"Coming?"  
  
And without a single word, Shalimar followed out this man saying goodbye to her drunken, hair dying, bean eating, promiscuous life for good...  
  
The Officer closed the door behind them.  
  
They had gone.  
  
  
  
*****Ok I tried to be funny yet again, but as I don't know Shalimar that well, it was hard so I am really really really sorry!!! I will be doing Jesse next! Review me if you want more, or if you like it have suggestions or criticisms! Thanks! 


	3. Jesse Kilmartin and the carboard carton

THE YOUNG AND THE BRAINLESS: JESSE KILMARTIN  
  
Disclaimer: Me does a not own this a show or it's a characters so please don't a sue me or get offended. I like to screw with their heads. Mua ha ha ha! But seriously folks, I go places no one rarely does, so if you are sensitive, don't read on...  
  
Rating: PG 13+ (so kiddies ask your parents before reading this, I don't want to be responsible for scarring you all for life...)  
  
NB: And after saying all that, this story isn't really that offensive or anything, I was just being CAREFUL. Because I don't want to trip myself up...literally, I am a klutz. Woo, believe me I have some VERY funny stories, but I will save them for another time...  
  
Synopsis: We go back down the dark recess of time to stumble upon a young teen named Jesse, who wants more than anything, to be accepted. But will he...?  
  
*************JESSE KILMARTIN AND A CARDBOARD CARTON*******************************  
  
There was a tense silence. Noah turned to his wife and embraced her. Any minute now they were going to find out the truth....  
  
At that moment the doors flew open and one of the geneticists, Mason Eckhart was standing there, he walked over to the nervous couple...  
  
"There is good news...." The couple smiled..."And there is bad news." Noah gasped. "What?!!? What is the bad news??" He asked frantically...Mason sighed. "We were able to cure Jesse's deficiency...but I am afraid there may be some side effects..."The woman gasped. "Like what?" She asked quickly. Mason rubbed his eyes, it had been a long night, and the kid had cried the whole way through. "He may have some physical side effects, or maybe some mental side effects, but that isn't likely...if anything concerns you, please come back and see us." The couple nodded and with that they sadly went to the room where their little boy lay fast asleep unaware of the pain that was before him....  
  
--------1 year later......-------  
  
"Happy birthday to you....happy birthday to you....happy birthday dear Jesse.....happy birthday to you! Hurrah!!!" All of Jesse's friends and families surrounded the little boy as he blew out the two candles on his birthday cake. He grinned a toothy grin and held up the new care bear he had gotten for his birthday.  
  
His parents smiled happily. Everything was going to be fine...  
  
-------------15 years later.....-------------  
  
The front door slammed and a tall, blonde haired boy ran up the stairs clutching his instrument. His mother came out of the kitchen and looked up the stairs concerned. She sighed, he was so moody lately, it was as if he had PMS or something...  
  
Jesse ran into his room, threw his instrument on the floor and fell on his bed. He then burst into tears, crying over the pain of his rejection. Why didn't they choose him? He had practiced for SO long! He wanted nothing more to be in the school band and march, so he would be cool enough to go up the social ladder.  
  
Jesse sighed and rolled over. Maybe the triangle just wasn't his instrument.maybe he should try the clarinet? No, he thought. He should just do what his father said and join the football team and  
  
"be a man." Jesse didn't want to be a man. He just wanted to be in the band. Jesse wiped his tears away and reached under his bed for the cardboard box, Cuddles' new home. His father didn't think it was right for a 17 year old boy to still be sleeping with a teddy, so Cuddles was banished to his new home.under the bed.  
  
-------THE NEXT DAY-----  
  
Jesse was on the bus holding his triangle; he would have to take it back to the music department.again. He looked up to the front of the bus and saw Gary, Larry and Glenn holding their respective instruments while discussing the up coming pep rally. Jesse sighed. He wished more than anything he could be with them, play with them, hang with them, get the snot bashed out of them.with them.at school he got off the bus and walked solemnly to home room.time for another day.  
  
.. At lunch time Jesse was feeling dejected, he got an A in Info Tech, but Larry, Garry and Glenn didn't invite him to the band party on the weekend. Instead he was invited to the captain of the football team house for a beer party and the head cheerleader had asked him out again. Jesse sighed, was he EVER going to be accepted in this school? Jesse went to his locker and grabbed his bags; he was going to go home.  
  
.. At home.. Jesse walked in to the kitchen and saw a letter lying on the table addressed to him. Maybe one of the Colleges had written back, it was about time. He left it there and went upstairs. He looked under his bed for his triangle "dinger" as he called it, but it wasn't there, instead he saw Cuddles' box and reached for it.then he drew his hand back with a frown. No 17 year old boy still had a teddy; he was such a loser.. he made a mental note to throw it out tomorrow, as if a teddy bear would ever be important in his future.. as if..  
  
He got up from his bed and went down stairs to the kitchen, he hoped Larry wouldn't be too annoyed he lost the only triangle "dinger." He really was never meant for the music world. He opened the fridge and saw it was empty. Dammit, he would have to go down the street. Great. He put on his new mules and headed off down towards the milk bar. .  
  
--------------OUTSIDE THE MILKBAR------------- A Jesse sauntered up to the local drug store he noticed Jeff, the captain of the Football team, bashing the snot out of Glenn the trombone player. Jesse just stalked past them as Jeff waved in greeting. He walked over to the dairy section and reached for some milk.as the cool air reached his senses he suddenly began to turn hard.Jesse jumped from the fridge in shock and looked up to see a petite blond looking at him quizzically. He just grabbed the low fat soymilk and headed for the counter shivering.what the heck had happened to him.? Too many weird things had happened recently, a ball flying through him, turning hard, not eligible for the band, dad buying a padded bra.. things were just ODD at the moment.. up ahead in the queue the blonde woman was talking to a curly haired man who was buying a case of Jack Daniels.they turned around and stared at Jesse who shivered and left the store with out buying his favourite low fat soymilk.  
  
As Jesse was walking home, or stumbling, in his mules he heard a voice call out behind him. "JESSE! Come back! Jesse! We want to talk to you.!" Jesse just kept on walking until he heard a growl and someone jumped in front of him.the blonde girl. "You will stop when you are asked too.. if you know what is good for you.."Jesse's face lit up in recognition. "Your Shalimar Fox, the ho from the trailer park! My my, have I heard stories about you!" The woman snarled as the curly haired man caught up. "Geeze, I am so unfit." He puffed.. then he turned to Jesse. "Jesse, I know how discontent you are.how you feel left out.how you want to be accepted...feel loved." Jesse frowned, how did this guy know this...The curly haired man smiled... "We snuck into your house and read your diary..." Jesse gasped." But that is another story..anyway...Shalimar and I are offering you the chance of acceptance, fulfillment and happiness..you can have a new life...if you come with us." Jesse looked at both of them for a moment and then he slowly turned away..  
  
------LATER THAT NIGHT-------  
  
"Jesse! Jesse! Dinner is ready!" His mother called up the stairs. Where was he? He had been gone for hours. She sighed, and she had cooked his favourite meal and everything. She slowly made her way up stairs to his room. "Jesse!" She said as she opened his door. She stopped. Something was wrong.his bag was gone as was his laptop. Where was he? Suddenly she bent down and looked under the bed. "Please be there, PLEASE be there..oh my darling Jesse!" She reached under the bed and felt nothing.. nothing but total emptiness.  
  
Jesse Kilmartin and the cardboard carton had gone. 


End file.
